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Have you ever read the hilarious Netflicks reviews for the climbing films of a guy called Dusatko?

We’ve never seen any of them, but dude, a lot of people really don’t like them. And as longtime connoisseurs of a finely aged haterade, we find that more interesting than mediocre pebble wrestlin porn. Behold, the Netflicks reviews of these, apparently not so great, climbing movies….

There’s one about women’s lib or something, and it’s called “A Day in the Life” of a women’s libber.  The cover looks like this:

Here’s what people said (We can’t get a decent link working because you have to logged into your netflicks to read them):
There are great films, mediocre films, poor films and just plain bad films. This climbing / bouldering / blundering attempt is sadly a bad film. We the viewing public are still left waiting on a great climbing film; This certainly wasn’t it.

Yes, these women are great climbers, but its probably not worth enduring the obnoxious music, poor production, and the trite “you go girl” message to see this footage.

The music sounded like bad porn music and the climbers’ voiceovers were painful at times to listen to.

Oh, another annoying thing was the way the camera kept cutting away from a perfectly good video climbing sequence into black and white stills in the middle of the sequence. So pointless. The thing was, the stills were of the same sequence, so it’s not like we were getting a different angle or something. Just really lame.

I thought maybe this had lackluster reviews because they were from non-climbers… but as a woman that climbs, I have to say this just isn’t that good.

Its better if you mute the sound to avoid the 90s club music.

Well wow. But then of course they’re not all bad. According to someone on Amazon this movie is A must have for ALL woman!

Moving on. There’s another one called Soul Cal. It looks, um, well just look…

Although there are some really good boulder problems represented, this video sucks.

Skip this DVD and rent “Best of the West” to see what bouldering videos SHOULD be like. DJ Revolution’s soundtrack is so frenetic and annoying that it’s advisable to mute your TV while watching this DVD.

If you should choose to rent this keep it on mute the whole time.

Okey Doke. There’s also “Inertia” and  “Inertia 2″ which seem to rent together on Netflicks. (These are all, btw, super old like 2003-5, but the reviews are contemporary.)

I’m a rock climber. However, I don’t like incessant punk music, and I don’t ride a skateboard, both of which are featured in this video. The video quality is quite low, and there is poor use of lighting (many scenes where light parts are blown out, while underhangs are in muddy darkness), and the framing doesn’t really showcase the climbs nor the technique.

I am not entertained by teenage and early 20’s foolishness. If you do rent it keep the volume low, since they do not really say anything worth hearing and keep the remote close and your finger on the fast forward button.

Worse climbing movie I’ve ever seen. Music was lame, footage was crappy, editing was horrible. No locations, sometimes grades and names. Footage would start in the middle of climb and end before a top out? Plus all the random non-climbing scenes were useless. I wanted to be motivated to get out and climb but this movie was not the thing to do it.

This was by far the worst climbing video I’ve seen.

I also didn’t like the music.

This is the worst climbing video I have ever seen. The video quality is terrible and the music is the awful.

The only redeaming clips were of Randy Leavitt on ‘Book of Hate’ and Josune Bezeriatu on some Spanish sport route. Otherwise, a complete waste of time.

This video totally sucks. The only redeeming quality is the undeniable athleticism of the climbers. Bad video, idiotic skateboading, juvenile jackass contests…I could go on but I would waste more time on a video that was a waste of time in the first place.

Wow just wow, have you ever in your life been as unamused by anything as the people watching these videos?

So, that’s it. Pretty intense, yeah?

And, scene.