Oh, so you think heather is all punk yuppie rock climber fabulous? Just because she has that freaky boyfriend husband and those cool tattoos? Wuh-wuh-well you’re wrong. An investigation by sendaustin has revealed that heather is, despite all these trappings of alt-girl-geekdom, a total, TOTAL heather.
Evidence:
Naturally skinny (for now!)
Ample (but not floppy) boobed
Fair skinned
Virtually hairless
ALSO: Heather is a natural blonde. This means that her whole carpet/drapes set-up is, well, yeah, unmatched but in a most unexpected way.
And now, heather tells us, she is ALSO “naturally absurdly clear skinned,” and does not, she says, fully understand our love for greaseless sunblock.
So, yeah, great. Skinny big titted blonde prep masquerades as a nerd. Meanwhile we’re fighting over bootleg accutane and having to repurchase concealer on a weekly basis to match our ever-darkening complexion. You will get old someday, Heather. Get ready. Our day will come.
“Our day will come”… in cleveland.
itsa figure of speech. don’t hurt me.